TITLE: Darkening
Author: Nocturnal Willow
E-Mail: crimsonjennifer@yahoo.com
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy, Angel, Willow, Giles,
Faith, or any of the characters portrayed here, nope
..They are the property of The WB, Fox Studios,
possibly the UPN, Joss and many others I don’t know. I
own the plot thought.
Rating: R
Pairing: Angel/Tara
Location: My website, whenever I finish it…
Author’s notes: Tara din't get shot or killed, set
sometime in the future....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Darkening Chapter 1


Angel POV

Hell broke lose, yet again. The important thing is no
one else under my watch died tonight. Then it hits me,
there is no one left here in LA. So many I have cared
for have died recently; some of the deaths were
natural, and others were violent. It seems no matter
how much I try, it feels like the lives I have touched
have also fallen away. It began with Doyle. He became
my friend. I reluctantly let him in. In a short frame
of time, he went from a nuisance to a lifeline. Then
he died, he died with more nobility than he lived. It
is a death I can only hope for, since mine was a
drunken folly. All these decades only remind me that
all those I surround myself with now, they will all
die on me. It gets hard; part of me wanted to make
them, to keep them by me. If I did, they only join me
in this prison. I can't defile them that way.

To dwell on it, depresses me. Kate Locksley is a prime
example. Kate sort of grew on me. I wished I could
have had gotten to know her better. It doesn't mater
anymore. Darla's lovely fangs took her life once, my
stake a second time. The hardest loss was Cordelia's.
I remember getting to know the girl whom I once viewed
as duller than dirt and watching her grow into a hero.
She was. To an extent I was in love with her. She
reminded me of my inner demon, with her logic and her
vanity. She always knew how to get me through these
ruts. She would, as she often said, give me a reality
check. I miss that. I remember the panic, the sheer
terror written in her face at her first vision. I also
remember trying to calm her when the visions were
being tampered with. I wanted to hold her when she
broke down and cried as her body took the damage. The
hardest thing was identifying her body. She died by a
human hand. It was the necklace I brought her back
from my trip to Bali, after Buffy died that enabled me
to identify her. I so much wanted to rip the mortal
who did that from limb to limb. I didn't. Gunn did.

Gunn, my feisty friend. I miss him as well. He always
wanted to kick ass. He was stubborn, strong but had a
big heart, under the muscles and all. He might have
acted like he was the leader, but he went beyond that,
he gave everything he had. He gave his life to save
Wes from the red demon with claws. He made me promise
to take care of Fred. I think he was sweet on her, but
he never admitted it. Wes was another bitter pill. The
aneurysm that took him, left Fred shattered. Fred
trusted Wes, because he would read to her, every night
outside her door, while I was away. He inadvertently
became her link to this world. With his death, she
soon took her life. The bitterest thing was it was on
the one-year anniversary that Buffy died.

Darla still eludes me. Yet she always leaves me a
little something. I have looked for her, but she still
is a step ahead of me. I am told she has left LA. I
will find her, but I have eternity to find her. Plus,
if I know my sire, she will want me to find her. Then
I will deal with her. Staking her was hard the first
time; I can only image what it would be like for the
second time. I too left LA. The hellmouth had been
left alone too long and things were rising. Things
like me, things that should not be.

I had left things behind I shouldn't. I couldn't save
Buffy or help her fight a god. I wish she had let me
help. The fact that Spike took my place, it unsettles
me. But I would have put aside my issues with him. I
came back to a broken group. The first thing I thought
was they all looked tired. I wondered if nightmares
haunted them as well. I helped. It felt unsettling to
see my child fighting with them when my memories are
of him fighting against them. I fought along side
them. I also buried them. That is the hardest thing
about eternity, you end up outliving all your friends,
either that or they end up resenting you since you
won't grow old. The scooby gang still had the look of
youth, but their eyes told a far different story. It
wasn't until this moment that I realized just how much
I had missed then, Xander included.

Willow went first. It was to a Varek demon, I saw its
talons slit her throat. She died before she hit the
ground. Tara was devastated. I held her as she wept
violently in my arms. I was able to find a lovely
dress for her funeral, one that hid the gashes across
her throat. Tara never even blinked during the wake or
funeral. She would meditate. She barely spoke. She
scared the hell out of me. I almost began to wonder if
she was possessed. It was then I noticed something
else about Tara. She began training. She had always
been the mystic one working her mojo with Willow. But
I watched her punching the bag. I could see the anger
and rage she was hiding. That night Spike and I
stared really training her. I began to feel
protective of Tara, similar as to when I would sire a
child. She snuck out one night. I followed her. I
watched as she methodically slaughtered all ten of the
clan. She was brilliant. She looked at me; eyes
glittered in the moonlight. "It's done." She said,
dropped the bloody axe.

"It is." I said. I held my arms out to her. She hugged
me tightly. That night the deepest friendship I ever
experienced began. Through every obstacle we
encountered, it grew stronger. With every death, it
grew deeper. We had both only been on the fringe of
the group at varying levels of involvement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2

Tara POV

I've been whole for almost a year straight now. I can
still remember the confusion from when Glory zapped
me. I died when Willow's throat was slashed. I felt
anger and rage like never before. I wanted to die, to
crawl into the earth with her. I remember Spike loving
violence; I tried to imitate his moves. He and Angel
took pity on me. Ok, I
fell a few times, and when they were done laughing at
me , they began to teach me defense. I learned all
about the offensive on my own. All I wanted to do was
kill that clan for taking her away from me. Buffy and
Willow they were my protectors. I miss them both.

Willow gave me strength I never though I would have.
Now I lost her. I smile when Spike lovingly announces
"playtime." It means we hunt. Which translates to
something bad dies tonight. I know with each patrol I
get stronger. Spike watches over Dawn, honoring a
promise he made to Buffy. Dawn is so attached to him.
She won't admit it, but she is. I killed everyone in
the clan that took Willow away from me. Angel was
there, smiling at me. I saw pride in his eyes, his or
his demon's I didn't care. It gave me little closure.
He hugged me, after a visual check for bruises. He
began intensely training me, making me stronger, more
agile. Willow might have given me the courage, but
Angel gave me strength.

The first time I saw him cry was when Xander fell. I
was glad that Xander and Angel had settled their
differences. They were a team, both very good. Anya
just got quiet, sort of like I did when I lost Willow.
Angel broke down and cried that night. I held him for
a while, my hands playing with his thick hair. I
waited until he stilled. I went into his bathroom. I
filled the very large porcelain claw foot tub. I them
poured some of my jasmine shampoo and lit some
candles. I sprinkled some healing herbs in the water.
I light my relaxation candle, took a deep breath and
pulled out a classical music CD. Angel has been such
a stabilizing force in my life. I wish I could ease
his pain, but if I can help him relax, then I can. I
found him still sitting on the couch. He was staring
off into space. "Angel?" I called out to him. He
didn't move. I walked over to him. I touched his
shoulder and he turned to me, in full vampire face.
"Angel, come with me."

He simple nodded and followed me up the stairs. I led
him to the bath. I remember Spike telling me he loved
long hot baths, since vampire body temp is lower.
Angel looked confused. "Undress, I left some clean
towels on the counter." I then walked out of the room.
I had to go check on Anya. I am worried about her.

I just Angel back to normal and we are dressing for
another funeral, this time Anya's. She died of a
broken heart. That is what I think, but the doctor
said her heart was just weak. Angel has been very
quiet. It seems he only smiles when we patrol. That
bothers me. I don't want him shutting off; I need him.
I wonder when I needed him. When did I suddenly need
Angel? I mean I need him as much as I need oxygen.
Angel keeps me sane. It is ironic, considering I am
the only thing holding him together. I mean, now that
Spike and Dawn are all he has left. Spike is too busy
take care of Dawn to give Angel much attention. Dawn
outright doesn't trust Angel. She remembers how he
tormented her sister, when he was bad. It's hard on
him.

I try and do what I can, but it takes so much out of
me. This group is my family and its slowing shrinking.
It bothers me. Angel has been a godsend. Angel
returned the favor today with a back massage. He had a
table all laid out, candles, and soft piano music. He
told me undress with exception of underwear and lie on
my stomach. I did. He hands were wonderful. I admit I
never had a man touch me in a tender way like that.
Angel does what he can to let me know he cares. He
constantly runs to get magic
supplies for me. He does train me. His patience is
astounding. He makes me laugh. Hunting with him, makes
me feel needed. He tells me I am getting better with
the axe as well.

I asked him to do magic with me tonight. He looked
scared, but agreed when I told him it was to sanctify
the graves of all of them. I gave him the basic
rundown of the spell. I can remember his smile as the
magic cursed thru him. He was hyper. I had never seen
him wound up like that. It was nice. I do worry about
his soul. He deserves some happiness, after what he
has been through.

I hear his nightmares sometimes. Those he hunted, they
haunt him. I have been secretly looking into a way to
anchor his soul. I can do it; I know I have that
power. But I just don't know how. I am not willing to
tamper with the curse he has now. I can't risk him not
coming back and a monster that wouldn't let me live to
fix it. I know that and it doesn't bother me. I find
comfort in him. I have never looked at a man with
anything other than contempt, until Giles and Xander.
They gave me the hope that all the men in the world
weren't like my father or my brother. Angel brings out
so much in me. He makes me wonder, about being with
guys. I understand his curse, all too well. I do hope
that I can make his soul permanent. I want to make
sure he never forgets me.

I see Spike, pretending to look very interested in
some comic book he is reading. This is merely a
diversion, his way of wanting to ask you something,
but in a very uninterested way. I have learned all
his moods and modes of operation. "You are too quiet
Spike. What gives?"

"I think you should teach Sparky magic. " He said,
matter-of-factly. I raised my eyebrow at him. I was
passionate about my power. I had seen the effects of
its abuse and addiction. Dawn was at that age where
she could become enraptured by the dark magics that I
nearly lost Willow to. "Well, you are human, Tara. I
know help out and fight evil, but it will eventually
drain you. If you become the fighter that Buffy was,
you can't have the power Willow had. You aren't made
to do that."

"I am just concerned. She will have a predisposition
to its power. Her energies would need to be carefully
harnessed. " I said aloud. I saw Spike's sly smile.
Scheming vampire! Well two can play at that game.

"As am I." Spike said. "Don't get me wrong, its just
with every cast you make, it drains you physically.
You remember how Willow was after some of the more
potent spells. But, you can't be a healer and a
fighter you will have to choose. I see the look in
your eyes when the stake goes into the heart. You love
the hunt as I do, as Angel does."

Damn him, he had a point. I love to hunt. "You have
a point." I said, not wanting to stroke his ego. It
got big enough for all of us at times.

"You know I'm right, you can admit it." Spike said, in
his sneer. I simply used a flick of my wrist and the
pillow him on the backside of his head. "Brat." I
muttered aloud.

"So you'll teach the Sparky some mojo?" He questioned.

"Why do you call her that?"

"Cuz - reason one, she's cute and reason number two,
she hates it."

"Her name is Dawn, can you say Dawn?" I joked.

"I can, but then she might think I like her."

"Spike you have to hots for her big time."

"Like you're one to talk. I can see you lusting after
Angel."

"I am not lusting after Angel. Remember I'm the gay
one here. I will teach Dawn."

"What about me?" The happy voice asked as she bounded
into the main room of the mansion. That girl was way
too hyper. And Spike, of course, fed her sugar
cravings just to annoy me.

"Nothing." Spike and I quickly said. She arched her
eyebrow, nonverbally telling us she knows that we are
lying.

"Yeah.. Whatever. So what did he say?" Dawn asked.

I took a deep breath. "Dawn, maybe is time to teach
you some defensive magic."

"Can I throw fireballs and stuff?" She asked in her
hyper mode. I know she had been dropping hints. Dawn
was a very smart girl; she saw how the power nearly
destroyed Willow. She had the proper respect, which
was my main reason for teaching her.

"NO!" Both Spike and I said together, remembering when
Spike had tried to teach her to throw darts.

"Spoil my fun." Dawn said, casting the infamous
Summers pout. It worked better than Willow's resolve
face. I just hoped she didn't know it.

"Possibly Sparky." Spike said. "First we have to
improve your aim."

"Listen, the magic you need to learn are defensive, to
protect yourself. I also want you to learn the healing
rites. Tara hunts with us and it takes a lot of her.
She is too exhausted to heal herself." Angel said as
he entered. I smiled as he came into the room. Then I
wondered how long he had been there. Did he hear
Spike's comment about lusting after him? God, I hope
not.

Dawn was thrilled that she would learn magic. I knew
with her being the key, she had a greater propensity
to mystical forces. Spike was right, about this
anyway. I knew my magic was weakening due to my
physical strengths. I was too tired from the patrols
to do any of my more powerful spells. I had shown Dawn
all the ingredients that were on hand. I helped her
tap into her powers through meditation. It didn't take
long for her to realize all that she was capable of.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 3

Tara POV

Angel is still here. We lost Giles today, to some
drunken driver. Angel hasn't said much. Even now, the
realization hits. They are all gone now; Willow,
Xander, Anya, even Oz and now Giles. I am the last
one. I am so scared that Angel will leave. He has been
a stabilizing force to me since I lost Willow. It's
just Angel and I. Well ok, Spike and Dawn too. It's so
quiet in this house. I walk downstairs, to the main
room. I see him in front of the fireplace. His back is
to me. "Angel?"

"Tara?" He says in a nervous voice.

"It was quiet, I got nervous." I said biting my lip.
It was moments like these I thought about Angel. He
was more alone than any of us.

"Why, is everything ok?" He asks me.

"I thought you left." I said, looking away. I never
did notice the walls before. I felt the panic run
through me, if Angel had left, what would happen to
me?

" I can't leave." He simply said.

"I thought that since…" I let my voice trail off. How
I tell him I didn't want him to leave me, that I
needed him, that he stabilized me?

"Since what?" I can see the concern dancing under
those brown eyes. I wonder if he can tell I am
holding tears back.

"They are gone now." I said.

"Tara, they aren't all gone, you are still here. So is
the hellmouth. Until an active slayer is sent, I can't
leave." Angel said. He made it sound so simple.

"You sound sad about it."

"I lost my innocence here."

"I thought you lost it in some alley in Galaway." I
countered. My voice sounded so harsh, even to me.
Angel spun his head to look at me. I saw something in
his eyes, but I didn't know how to read it.

" I died there, yes. I became something here, I also
learned more about the curse here, than I knew
possible."

"Oh." I said, resuming looking at the walls.

"Were you afraid I'd leave?" He asks me in a nervous
voice.

"Sort of." I said. He was quickly standing in front of
me, his cool hand touching my cheek.

"I wouldn't leave you. You are my only friend right
now. I need you Tara. You give me the strength to keep
doing this." Angel said. He looked into my watering
eyes. I was overwhelmed by everything. He kissed my
forehead tenderly. I let pull me close to him. I
felt so safe in his arms.

"Angel?"

" I'm sorry, but it is true. All my friends are dead
now. Soon I will be alone, again. I intend to savor
the time I have left with you."

Must he be so romantic, at a time like this? "I'm glad
you're sticking around."

He pulled me into a hug and gave me a kiss on the
cheek. I felt safe, something I hadn't in a long time.
I wish I knew why Angel is affecting me this way. I
mean every man I ever knew made me feel weak or
somehow flawed. Angel treats me so different. I think
that is why I loved women. Willow made me face some
things I didn't want to. She's gone now. I mean,
sometimes I find myself very attracted to Angel. I
know about his curse and his love for Buffy.

It is moments like these that make me realize that we
aren't as unbreakable as we think we are. I am glad
Angel holds me close. I do wonder, is it for my
benefit or his. I can only think of one other person
who can help us at a time like this. I need to go to
him without letting Angel know. Soon Angel leads me to
the couch. I curl up against him. He plays with my
hair, which relaxes me. "Tell me about her."

"Who?" He asks.

"The one who hurt you?"

"So many to choose from." Angel says with a laugh.

"What made you fall in love with Buffy? " I asked.
Willow never told me much about that part.

"I think it was her attitude. In some ways, she
reminded me of Angelus."

"How?"

"She made her own rules. She slayed with style.
Slayers were never fashion minded. Buffy would do it
and she looked good while doing it. Angelus was very
vain."

"But the whole no reflection thing?"

" You can read a lot by a person's eyes. I knew all
about style. I could always tell women loved my
looks."

"How?"

"Well, women are easy to read. I could always tell by
an increase in heart rate and the scent of arousal."

"You can smell that?"

"Yes. I can tell when a woman is in her cycle as well
as afraid. Fear and desire, its an incredible
combination." Angel said, while stroking my hair. I
wondered what he smelled on me, then I figured I
didn't want to know.

"What do I smell like to you?" I asked after mentally
telling myself I didn't want to know.

I could hear his deep inhalation. "I can smell your
jasmine shampoo. You smell so good. Tara. To me, its
comfort that I smell in you. You accepted me
completely. I know I am undeserving."

"Angel, you deserve it. Trust me on this ok?"

"Is this conversation bothering you?"

"No, it is very interesting. So you fell in love with
Buffy because she's cute?" I lightly joked.

"I did always like blondes, but Buffy was powerful,
even when she didn't think she was. I mean she had a
life friends and she still slayed. No other slayer,
alive or dead has ever been able to do that. Most
slayers after the age of 21 went mad, well the ones
who lied that far." He added.

" How come?"

"My theory is that a slayer is a very enhanced human.
When you enhance something, another part suffers for
it. I mean, I have a heightened sense of smell, but
food tastes flat to me, the exception being blood.
Even whiskey, something I loved when I was alive,
tastes different to me. For instance, I won't age, but
I can't enjoy the light."

"Sounds like a prison, but in a very non-threatening
kind of way." I said, suddenly feeling bad.

"It is. Again, I can serve a purpose. It helps;
knowing that what I once used to kill, maim and
destroy, I use to save lives, help people. Just trying
to atone for all my sins." Angel said, with a degree
of sadness in his voice.

"What happens when you do?" I asked him. I feel a
sense of dread. Would he become human? Or would he
just wither away to a better place. His human body
has long since decayed.

"I don't know. I could become human again. I am not
really sure." He says.

The idea jumps into my head. I just needed some more
information. "Angel, who is Lorne?"

"He is a friend, of sorts. He has the ability to give
you the direction you seek. You have to sing for him,
but he helps."

"You sang for him?"

"Unfortunately."

"What did you sing?" I asked, unable to picture Angel
singing.

"You really want to know?" He asked.

"Yes." I wondered.

"Mandy. It kinda seemed fitting. Its about a guy who
sends his love away."

"Ahh.... that is fitting." I said. Time to see if the
walls changed.

"The walls are the same Tara." Angel says.

"Huh?" I asked.

"You keep looking at the walls. Are you afraid I will
bite you? "

"I just don't want to seem prying; unless you want me
to then I will stop now. " I said, feeling like an
idiot.

"You aren't acting like an idiot Tara. I don't mind
the questions Tara. If I don't want to answer, I'll
tell you."

"OK, sorry."

"Tara, do you ever think about your family?" Angel
asks me. I really don't know how to answer this.

"No."

"How come?"

"They made me believe I was demon, ...well part demon
and ...that's why I had magic. What they did to my
mother........they hurt her Angel, kept her weak from
'spiritual cleansings' to rid her demon. She would
scream so much........" I said and started to cry.
Angel just pulled me closer to him.

"I'm sorry, Tara...... don't cry. I didn't mean to
upset you." Angel says pulling me even closer to him.
It feels good, being in his arms. My body seems to
merge nicely with his. He could hold me like this for
hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 4

Tara POV

Lorne was so cool. He had taken over the Expresso
pump. He had this smile that just made people light
up. I was glad that I had the full info from Lorne. I
went to see him. I hoped he could help me. Lorne
smiled when he saw me. "Hey Tiger!"

"I need your help." I said to him. I did help him a
couple nights a week, tending bar. I got some good
information doing that.

"You know the drill." He said. I was nervous as the
place was hopping. I walked over to the songbook.

"You are going to make me sing?"

"Yes."

"Ok." I said. I picked up the binder that had his list
of songs. I was scanning when I found the song I
wanted. I took a deep breath and began to sing.


If I wanted to I could do anything right
I could dance with the devil on a Saturday night
If I wanted to I could matches to gold
I could smoke drink swear and I would never grow old
I wouldn't have to be in love with you
If I only wanted to
If I only wanted to
If I wanted to I could run as fast as a train
Be as sharp as a needle that's twisting your brain
If I wanted to I could turn mountains into sand
Have political leaders in the palm of my hand
I wouldn't have to be in love with you
If I only wanted to
If I only wanted to
I could leave tonight
And I would be alright
Stop holding on
If I wanted to
If I only wanted to
If I wanted to I could be as patient as death
Fix this hole in my heart leaking into my chest
If I wanted to I could turn sparks into ice
There'd never be another woman who could make you
think twice
I wouldn't have to be in love with you
If I only wanted to
If I only wanted to

As usual, I got a round of applause. Then I stopped
dead in my tracks. I saw Angel talking to Lorne. Lorne
looked at me smiling. Angel, he looked different.
"Tara?"

"Hey, Angel, fancy meeting you here." I said, time to
check out these walls, they might be crocked.

"Angel, the demon you're after, left town. I think
she'll be back, but not too soon. But, in the
meantime, Tiger" Lorne said, putting his arm around me
and pulling me close. "And I, we have to talk." Lorne
said as he whisked me away.

I was nervous, seeing Lorne this much in a hurry to
get me away from Angel. "You love him??" Lorne
questioned.

"I think so. I really don't know."

"I can't do what you need, but I know of someone that
might be able to help you." Lorne said.

"He can't know about this Lorne." I said.

"What???"

"In case, I can't." I whispered to him, knowing that
Angel had enhanced hearing.

"If you go before them, you will need him there. Trust
me."

"How will I tell him?"

"Honestly. He will try and stop you." Lorne replied,
telling me what I needed to know.

"Can you go in his place?" I asked. I knew Angel
would not want me to suffer for him. If Angel begged
me not to... could I say no?

"Its not my soul you're after."

"Can they do it?" I asked.

"The question, Tiger is can you?"

"Tell me what I need to do."

"I can't give you the answers, I can only point you
in the right direction."

" You are ever so helpful." I told him. I smiled when
Angel came up behind him. Lorne then touched the side
of my face. " Tiger think about this." He said and
gave me a kiss on the cheek. I saw the flash in
Angel's eyes.

"What was that about?" He asked, in a not very subtle
jealous way.

"Nothing. Ready to play?" I asked.

"Let's go." He said and into the night we went off.

Patrol was successfully. Dawn had prepared a healing
bath for me. I went wordlessly into the tub. I had
left the door open a crack. Angel came in, then
stammered when he realized he was alone with a naked
me. "I'm sorry... I didn't know...." Angel said. I
felt myself flushing, he had seen me half naked
before, but I felt the intensity that he looked at me
with. I felt a bolt of lust go through me.

"It is ok, the bubbles hide me." I said.

"I can see more than you think." Angel said and sat
down in the hallway. "So what's with you and Lorne. I
think he sees you more than I do."

"Are you jealous?" I asked. This wasn't happening.

"Just concerned." Angel said quickly, a little too
quickly.

"I was feeling depressed. He cheers me up." I said.
Ok, this is working Tara; just don't ramble.

"Do I depress you?"

"Not entirely." I said.

" Not entirely; that isn't promising."

"I mean... I think about what you go through daily. I
tell myself, my issues aren't as bad. Angel, what
would you do if your soul was anchored?"

"I really don't know at this point."

"I could try...." I said to him.

"No, it's my burden. I don't want to force it on you."
Angel said defensively.

" You need to be happy." I said. " And still be you."

"Why? I'm a killer."

"But not anymore, you have saved the world how many
times over?"

"It helps, but Tara. When I killed people, I didn't do
it swiftly. I stalked them, terrorized them. Some I
had just like me. I brought an ugly death to them all,
and I loved it."

"Angel, you didn't have your soul then, I can
understand that. You weren't the same person you are
now." I said.

"I still have much to atone for."

"You will. I know it. " I said, sliding deeper into
the bathtub. We talked for about forty-five more
minutes. Then I had to slip out of the now cold tub. I
smiled when I saw him sitting his back to the door,
still a gentleman. It only strengthened my resolve. I
slept well that night.

I dress in leather, black leather. I took a couple of
basic weapons and some holy water. I roused Angel out
of his sleep. Tonight I would complete him, even if it
killed me. This brought me a sense of peace, knowing
I did something right.

We did a fast patrol. I got to the address given to me
by Lorne, Angel just kinda followed me, and I did let
him think I was working up a lead. I walked around
back of the deserted house. I saw the empty pool and
the lone diving board. He did ironically mention a
leap of faith. "What are you doing?"

"Lorne mentioned a leap of faith. He is literal."

"Tara?"

"Shhh I need to do this. For you." I said.

"Do what?"

"I can't tell you right now." I said. I said a small
prayer and jumped. I expected to land on a very hard
tile. I landed on my feet. I saw the gentleman sitting
there.

"So this is the judgment?" I asked.

"Only a small part. Everyone who comes here, they seek
something. What do you seek?"

"A soul."

" You are human, girl. You have one."

" Angel's soul. There is a gypsy curse in place; one
moment of happiness he loses his soul. I want it
anchored for eternity."

"It can be done, should you pass. You are a mystic?"

"I am." I said.

"Can your magics not do this?"

"I have not attempted curses, they are a darker
magic."

" I'll take your coat. There are three doors. Take
your pick."

" Ok. What lies beyond?"

"I can not tell you. I will ask you so surrender your
weapons at this point." He said.

"Ok." I gave him my two stakes, my dagger and my small
bottle of holy water. He then handed me a sword.

" Should you pass the first test, I will be waiting
for you." He said and led me to the doors.

I looked at each door. I picked the middle one; it
seemed safe. I walked through it. I was in a dark
room. Candles were lit all around me. Then I saw her.
It was Willow, but not my Willow. This one was a
vampire. "Welcome to my world, Lover." the sweet voice
said to me.

"W-w-w-what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm gonna kill you, silly girl." She said, with a
laugh. "Or I could keep you....Nah, I'll just kill
you."

She launched at me. I dodged her easily. "You've
gotten better." She said. She then came at me,
kicking me to the ground. I looked up to see her
victim, Xander. He person was chained to the wall. I
could see dried blood over the wounds.

"I am not sharing." She said to me.

"I wasn't hungry." I said as I flipped myself up
quickly. I remembered the sword. We fought. She kept
her face human, reminding me of my Willow. Then she
lost her head. I then took the key off a makeshift
altar and opened the door. I found the gentleman
waiting for me. "You passed the first trial."

"Thanks." I said, doing a quick inventory of my cuts
and bruises. "So what's next?" I asked him.

"It will be harder on you. No weapons at all. No magic
either. All you will be given is a quarterstaff. You
must bring forth the golden dagger to me."

"I can do this."

"Go now, your friend waits for you."
++++
I thanked him and went to the door this time on the
left. I saw a stone hallway. I used the quarterstaff
as both a walking stick and a defensive weapon. I
flashback to Angel offering to train me with it, I
said no. I smiled, I do learn fast. I felt myself
tense when I saw the silhouette. "It is been some time
Tara. Welcome home."

I saw my father, in vampire face. He looked pissed.
"You aren't my father." I said to him.

"Don't blaspheme me, Tara. It makes me upset."

" I am not. You might be the biological father but
you have been dead to me for some time."

"How they fooled you. You are evil child. It's yours
mother's curse on you. We tried to school you, to be
good, not what it is you are now."

"And what am I now, Daddy, since you know everything?"

" I know that you have become the devil's whore."

"I am no one's whore."

"It is so easy to deceive yourself, my how the mighty
have fallen."

"I am not demon. You lied to me." I said. I felt my
anger coming to the surface. I had to control this, or
I would die for nothing.

"But you love one. You came to here, to save him. I
didn't teach you love demons. I taught you how to be a
wife. "

"You taught me nothing." I spat back.

"Doug and I showed what a wife's role is her duties.
And you defile those lessons by sharing your bed with
a woman. You must relearn what you seem to have
forgotten."

"No. I learned the truth."

"Tara, my little Tara, you have been a naughty girl."
I watched as my father took his belt off.

"I am not afraid of you." I said looking him directly
in the eye.

"But you are afraid of him. The demon you came here
for. I pity you child. But I will show the way. No
daughter of mine will be a demon's whore."

" Show me? I remember the lessons. I remember what you
did to mother. When you broke her, you and Dougy
raped me. You didn't show me anything."

"The demon lust clouds your vision. We missed you. See
here, you serve a purpose." My father said to me.

Then I felt the arm from behind. I instinctively
grabbed for it but I missed. I was thrown to the
floor. I looked up to Doug. He quickly kicked the
quarterstaff out of my hand. "That ain't nice,
disrespecting Father like that." Doug said, pulling my
hair. I kicked him hard, but not hard enough. I felt
the blow to my head and I blacked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 5 

Angel POV

It was like watching in slow motion, her walking to
the lone diving board and jumping. I screamed for her
not to do it. But she was gone. I leaned over the
edge, dreading the sight her broken body. Instead I
saw nothing. I remembered all to well doing this for
Darla. I ran and jumped in behind her. I was stopped
as soon as she went into the middle door. "What is
happening to her?" I asked.

"You may see as well, but it is unpleasant." The man
said. I agreed I saw her walk down the hallway with
the quarterstaff. I cursed myself for not insisting
she train with it. I gained a first hand knowledge of
why she never spoke of her family. It broke my heart
to find out everything they did to her. They were
worse than I was. I watched as they tried to hold her
down. My heart fell when she did. "Why is she doing
this?" I asked him.

"You do not know?" He questioned.

"I don't."

"She is fighting for you, your soul, just as you
fought for you friend. I am truly sorry we were unable
to help her. How is she?"

"She was turned."

"A shame. She fights well for you. She loves you."

I couldn't move as his words sank in. She was doing
this for me. She is suffering for me. That thought
hurts me. I wish I could barge through a door and hurt
them. I smile when she wakes up. Soon her quick leg
kicks her brother off her. She grabs at the
quarterstaff. I watch as she fights them both off her.
I see the knife her father has. I holler as it cuts
her shoulder. Soon they are both dust. I can see
bruises on her neck and her clothes are torn. She has
been fighting, a lot. I am relieved when she emerges
holding a dagger. She made it this far, thank god.

Chapter 6

Tara POV

It's almost over. I have to tell myself that. I walk
out of the door. I drop the staff from my hand. "What
next?" I say.

"Tara are you ok?" Angel asks. I see him looking at my
various wounds.

"I will live."

"Actually, you won't." The gentleman says. "You came
to me for his soul. Are you willing to die for him?"

"You aren't." Angel said

"I would." I said. I tried not to let him see the
tears in my eyes. So many emotions went through me. I
knew I loved him. That was enough.

"Angel, she gives her life for your soul." The
gentleman said to him.

"She can't." He said.

"The outcome you seek won't happen Angel. She is
willing to pay the ultimate price for the ultimate
gift. Do not be a fool."

"Why Tara?"

"So you'll never forget me."

"I couldn't forget you, even if I tried." Angel told
me.

"Tara, drink this." The gentleman said, handing me
something looking very much like what Angel drank. I
did. I felt giddy and sleepy at the same time. Angel
held me.

"Angel, drink from her, until the heart stops."

"It'll kill her."

"She is under my protection. If you do not drain her,
the solution I gave her will kill her." I heard him
say.

"Angel...please..." I whispered. I felt his cool lips
on my neck. I felt his hands in my hair. I tried to
get him to bite by pulling him closer. Then I felt the
prick of his fangs and everything felt fine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to be continued!!!